Action Coaching, Hearing vs Listening, My New Favorite Quote, and More
Bring Ambition Newsletter - February 10, 2022
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The Bring Ambition Newsletter is like having a personal executive coach in your inbox every other Thursday. You’ll receive 3-5 quick bulletpoints (~3 min. read) related to professional development, peak performance psychology, leadership, productivity, and much more.
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1.) What is Action Coaching and how do I do it?
Action Coaching by David L. Dotlich and Peter C. Cairo was released in 1999, right as "coaching" entered the mainstream. Coaching is an increasingly crucial skill for all leaders and managers, and a vital part of your toolkit for developing others and helping them reach their goals - especially high-potential team members and associates.
In the book, Action Coaching is described as an results-focused, commercially-oriented coaching process "that fosters self-awareness and leads to the motivation to change, as well as the guidance needed if change is to take place in ways that meet individual and organizational performance needs." There are 8 steps in the Action Coaching process:
Determine what needs to be done and in what context - Define the individual's goals and align them with the organization’s strategic objectives.
Establish trust and mutual expectations - Discuss the coaching process, what the client hopes to get from the coaching relationship, and foster a strong, trusting relationship
Contract with the client - Create specific, measurable goals and ask what magnitude of change is required, This means defining whether you're merely cultivating self-awareness vs aiming for a complete performance transformation
Collect and communicate feedback - Gather feedback about the individual's performance and deliver it in a provocative yet caring manner; feedback is an essential precursor to coaching, and helps cultivate buy-in to the process
Translate talk into action - Turn goals and feedback into what should be done, when, and how
Support big steps - Meet regularly to review progress, work through obstacles and doubt, and support their action plan
Foster reflection about actions - Execution is critical, but for lasting performance improvement it's important for the individual to practice reflection and introspection along the way
Evaluation - Identify whether the individual has changed in line with their goals and their organization's expectations
2.) My new favorite quote
"Improvement comes on the edge of chaos."
3.) A formula for really listening
True listening is one of the meta-skills that will prove valuable throughout your entire career, and it relates to the coaching process mentioned above.
"Hearing" is taking what is said at face value. Real "listening" is not only hearing, but also noticing what's not being said and what is underneath what's being said. This helps you recognize others' ideas, attitudes, pain points and objections so you can more effectively support them and build a relationship (e.g. as a manager or coach), or better influence and persuade them (e.g. for proposals or sales). And of course, people just appreciate those rare individuals who actually listen.
So here's a formula for real listening:
You're saying X, but what you're not saying/trying to say is Y, and what's underneath that is Z.
Let's use an example: You ask "How's work going?" and a friend responds saying they like their job but hate their boss.
What are they trying to say? What's not being said? The strong verbiage ("hate") suggests there are important feelings at play: this working relationship is frustrating and concerning on a deep level. They're also not saying exactly why they don't get along. How much of it is the boss versus the environment? Is it a demanding role and/or organization? How much of it relates to your friend's own behavior and actions? Is the boss just nasty or are there stylistic differences? Is it possible the boss isn't aware of any issue on their end? Importantly, you should confirm your understanding as you go rather than assume or guess.
What might be underneath that? That their role and career is important to them, maybe even enjoyable, save for this major pain point. That they value relationships with senior stakeholders, potential mentors, and/or advocates. They're concerned that bad interactions with their boss might equate to bad outcomes for their career. That they may be at a loss around what to do.
When we deal only with surface-level statements, we're prone to misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and bias. It’s always important that people feel heard, but by digging deeper and truly listening, we come to understand people on a deeper level, and have a lot more material to work with if we want to influence or help them.
That’s it for this week! I’d love to hear your feedback — What did you enjoy? What stunk and needs to be fixed ASAP? You can reply here or reach me via any of the links below.
Have a great weekend!
Jon D'Alessandro
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